Dear Mr. Headhunter,

If you are going to call me today:

• make sure you know how to say my first name
• or ask someone how to pronounce
• or call me “Mr. <insert last name>” and then ask me how I say it
• don’t butcher my name and add letters that never existed before - English not being your first language is not a valid excuse
• call me on a phone that works - not one that sounds like you’re sitting in the middle of an electric maelstrom
• ask me if I’ve got a full time job (or read what it says by my listings on the job boards carefully and think about it) before offering me a contract that’s not guaranteed AND less than 12 months long, over 2000 miles from home, with no relocation, where I lay out all the money to travel, I don’t get benefits and the job pays me a substandard rate. (And I’ll bet I’ve got to fly coach too.)
• be prepared for the unexpected - if I start interviewing you back and asking hard questions don’t make me think I’ve just made you piss your pants

Hey, you called me. I didn’t call you.

And you wonder why I don’t want to considering leaving a full time gig with benefits when you called?

But if you managed to avoid the above and got me interested in the role don’t leave me HANGING when I’m working with you to get the job.

THREE (3) months of me nagging (or diligently following up depending upon how you look at it) for you to finally admit to me that the decision was not to hire anyone?

(Even if it is true, should I believe you at this point? Moreover, should I even consider you a serious professional anymore?)

And for the life of me, if I don’t get a job provide me with some constructive feedback as to why. Don’t just dump me like a sack of rotten potatoes.

That bit of frustration is directed at both recruiters (internal and external) and potential employers, because below is the anonymized version of what really happened one time, not that long ago when interviewing with a Fortune 100 company.

• You told me how great I am.
• You had me interview with 12 different people over a 9-12 week period.
• You paid to fly me in for the in face interview.
• I volunteered to do it all in one day - fly in and then out because hey I do have job I already value today, but I’m considering working for YOU because YOU called me.
• I interview for 5 hours with 10 more people.
• I get served a crappy corporate boxed lunch with a really shitty cookie.
• You change 1/2 the interviewers during the interview AFTER already updating my agenda FOUR TIMES before I even got there. I sat by myself for 30 mins at one point while they figured out who was or wasn’t available.
• Worse some of those interviewers couldn’t keep their heads out of their phones and at least one of them took a brief phone call.

Afterward:

• You don’t give me the job
• I asked “why”?
• I was told I’d be great for Half A of this job, but I wasn’t right for Half B
• I asked “why not Half B”? Maybe I misrepresented myself? Or was I misconstrued? Or did the prick that spent more time looking at his phone than me not understand the words coming out of my mouth? Or what was I missing about Half B? 
• You couldn’t tell me because your HR/Legal department advised you not to (is afraid of getting sued is what they’re really saying). PATHETIC. You shouldn’t have given me any answer then.

The whole point of getting an answer is so that I could improve and learn. Make sure I had all my ducks in a row for the next time. Help me get stronger, not leave me sitting there scratching my head.

(Hindsight being 20-20 I probably should have pushed for them to get me a waiver to sign. Obviously there was an answer.  Some part of it they though I wasn’t going to like. I am not one to sue people. I would LOVE to sue a lot of people, but to be honest it’s a waste of non-existent time and money.)

Moreover, if the real reason was you couldn’t afford me or decided to hire local (which is what I believe they did) I would have appreciated that honesty more than the BS run around I got.

• 5 months
• 12 hours of phone interviews
• 8 missed lunches (when else to you do 30/60 minute interview calls at 1:30 pm on a weekday).
• 6 hours on site interviewing with mildly curious people (except for the pricks with the phones)
• 4-5 hours round trip on the plane (not counting the 2 hour delay going home)
• Cell phone battery death even with constantly recharging

What did I get? Tired. Disappointed.

But, to be honest I no longer care. I’m past that.

I learned a lot about myself and my potential employer in the process.

• I kicked ass
• You did
• I presented myself as an articulate and sociable professional with an amazing depth and breadth of industry knowledge (And my wife will be happy to hear me add this - DAMN did I look FINE in that suit that day)
• You presented yourselves as intelligent, but not prepared, organized or professional and even a little lackadaisical.
• I know what I want
• You don’t know what you want
• I know what I can do
• You’re still trying to figure it out

So, what does that tell me?

I am glad I’m not working there.

There will always be somewhere else. This will happen again. (I can count at least 1-2 times before and at least two times after so far.)

I will keep on hunting until I find the right one for me and my family. I will not fall or fail.

All I can say is - you deserve some props for it! Even if it’s just a byline in the credits. It wouldn’t kill them. :)

rachelmillman:

Guys, this is semi important. And very stupid.

When I didn’t have a job for three months (hey, btw as of yesterday I don’t have one again) I signed up for a lot of free Comedy Central tapings. I like free shit. I like comedy. It seems obvious.

I attended a taping in boston for free. It was great, I got to meet the incredibly friendly Joe Mande and David O’Doherty. I laughed really hard.

HOWEVER, IT APPEARS THAT COMEDY CENTRAL RECORDED MY HIGHLY DISTINCT TOMMY GUN BUS CRASH LAUGH, AND IS LOOPING IT OVER A COMEDIAN’S JOKES THAT I WASN’T EVEN THERE FOR. AND THAT IS WEIRD AS SHIT.

(also, this guy is totally funny and I wish I’d been there to see his set, but still. It’s really strange to hear your own lone disembodied chuckle)

I also predicted this, I’ve gotten shit about my laugh for years, and while I love it I even said when I started going to tapings I was going to get recorded and looped.

So there you have it, folks. My Wilhelm Chuckle.

Or because I write some of this stuff at work (because after work I want to spend time with my wife, eat and sleep most of the time) and I don’t want people reading my thoughts over my shoulders.

Work is not my favorite environment and usually makes me neurotic. And I’m pretty good at that by myself too. Tumblr putting “Add a Text Post” in 75 foot tall font at the top of the page doesn’t make it slightly obvious what you’re doing. They should have an at the office skin that makes it look like you’re typing your blog post in word or excel or something else office-like. (Not Microsoft Office specific looking, could look like any system.)

One of my meetings got rescheduled, so I can make an attempt to finish this post in-between other tasks.

I mean I don’t do anything that’s going to result in people losing their lives or end up getting someone killed, so a little diversion here and there isn’t going to kill me.

It’s either that or take a trip to the bathroom to play Scramble/Words with Friends.

To give you an idea, I started this yesterday afternoon at work and never got around to finishing it. Not that I didn’t want to, but my time is at a premium these days, but I do need to learn how to take some time for myself more than I do now. (And my wife is encouraging this because she knows it’ll be good for my own psyche and ego.)

The call I’m on right now has this guy plowing through a huge document that we’re all trying to follow along with in our own copies on our desktops. Failing miserably. We went to one page and then jumped back 25 pages to review stuff I guess we skipped over. This guy isn’t much of a presenter and he’s now run into my lunch hour that I set aside for today. And I’ve got a good home cooked lunch today. :)

OK. I am eating that lunch now. I’ll quit writing for now and resume in another post when I’ve sufficiently recovered my itch or my ADHD kicks in.

But bouncing all over the place and writing in spurts is very common for people with ADHD. Then again, if untreated, you can throw just about every other activity in to the spurts category - sleep, sex, drinking, etc.

OK. Seriously. Really finished for now. Later folks.

I’m on mute. This WebEx started at least 30 minutes late because they couldn’t find one person. No clue where that person was at the time.

Don’t really care to be honest.

But when you’re on mute and waiting for a call to start you can get a lot done. I responded to 3 emails. Wrote feedback to an update document. Took my turn in 2 Scramble with Friends games. Called my wife.

I am happy to say I’ve never worked as inefficiently as others on this project and take pride that I get my work done well, on time and with high quality.

Now this meeting truly didn’t need me there. Soooo I guess I’ll post this and get back to paying attention.

(But good lord is this amazingly boring. It makes my ADHD itch.)

zatanna-zatara:

candyacidart:

A CONTEST!

*Draculaura is not a prize. She is just modeling.

To celebrate the fact I’m turning 23 this month, I decided to do a giveaway! There are two prize packages:

1. Both Fuck Natural prints & one of the Ambrosia pins (retail $60)
2. Both Fuck Natural prints, but no jewelry (retail $30)

To enter, you only have to do one thing: reblog this post once. JUST ONCE. LIKES DO NOT COUNT. You do not have to follow ToxicNotebook (my personal) or CandyAcidArt (my art blog), but you are more than welcome to. No country restrictions- anyone can enter!

Some details about the prizes:

• The Fuck Natural prints are 8.5 x 5 in, on Espon Professional paper.
• You can see a more detailed view of prints here: F Version, M Version
• The pin is 30x40 mm. I made it by painting the design on the finding with gouache, then coating the painting with resin. The paint will not chip or fade- it’s completely covered by the resin!
• I use very very tiny brushes to paint on jewelry. It’s worth it.

THE CONTEST ENDS APRIL 18TH, 2012, AT MIDNIGHT PST. Two (2) winners will be randomly selected and notified via their ask box, so make sure you have that open!

GOOD LUCK!

This is what I live by! I would die to have both prints! Lovelovelove.

Customer service is dead.

It is no longer a case of “How may I help you?” Or “We’re sorry that happened, here let us help you fix it.”

It’s a case of:

1. “What do you want?”
2. “I can’t see it on my screen.”
3. “It’s not in the notes on your account.”
4. “I can’t see that on my screen. I need to transfer you to someone who can see that.”
5. “That’s not my job.”
6. “You need to talk to someone else about that. [I don’t know who that is.]”

Worse, when you’ve been told something by one rep the other rep will go:

1. “Who told you that?”
2. “Well they were wrong.”
3. “Well they didn’t put it in the notes.”
4. “They shouldn’t be telling people things like that.”
5. “Please hold while I see if a supervisor is available.”
6. “There are no supervisors. You can leave a message and get a call back in 24 hours.”
7. See #6 above

If you haven’t heard these things then you’ve been living under a rock or your broke and have ceased to shop. If you are the latter I feel for you. If you are the former then WAKE UP!.

Recently I heard may of these things again (I think my wife even heard them more.)

This past Thursday to be exact.

I was hearing these things while checking in at a timeshare location with my handicapped mother-in-law because they failed to put us in a handicap accessible two bedroom. My wife arranged for a scooter and the room over two weeks earlier.

Ironically, the same day Seth Godin’s Blog post was about Organized Bravery which was right on point about how people behave today in exactly these situations. His discussion was a little more abstracted, but pertinent. (And I highly recommend reading his blog.)

It took my wife a long time to get things straightened out. We even had to play the press and a few other cards which was really sad.

You shouldn’t have to threaten people to get that for which you already paid.

The next day we had to revisit the whole thing because they couldn’t even turnover a room in a timely fashion. (We got the handicap accessible room on the 2nd day. They moved my mother-in-law to a separate accessible room that night.)

They could have resolved it in 10-20 minutes if people had been properly trained, cared and had a clue.

Moreover, they could have given consistent instructions which would have prevented me, my wife, and my mother-in-law from having to get up at a very early hour the next day.

At night they said my mother-in-law had to be out of her room by 9:30 so they could turnover the room because they had over 200 check-ins coming in on Good Friday. They said we should be ready to move out of our room between 10am and 11am.

In the morning they said she (mother-in-law) could have stayed there until the new room was ready and that we didn’t have to move until that time as well.

Worse, it was already NOON on Friday and they still couldn’t tell us when our room would be ready which is when my wife headed downstairs again.

We finally got in the new room around 3pm; a night and almost an entire day lost.

But not before we got some service.

We and our luggage got a private elevator ride between from the old to the new room. We are getting a certificate in the mail for a free two night stay in a 2BR deluxe at the timeshare for anytime there is availability. Our valet parking got comped for the whole stay.

We’ll use it, but it’ll be after we get the taste of this weekend out of our mouth, so it’ll be a little while.

The level of miscommunication, lack of desire to take charge or responsibility, and the overall lack of anything resembling customer service until we found the ONE person who seemed to give a crap in the whole place was astounding. Once we found that person everything flowed smoothly.

So thank you to that one person out of dozens who understands customer service! For the rest of you - if you don’t want to do the job please ACTIVELY look for a new one that you give a SH*T about.

Rant over.

I don’t care what color he is nor that of his attacker. It shouldn’t matter. The character of attacker or victim doesn’t really matter at this point. These could be the two most horrific or amazing people on the planet, but it will never change what happened, which still isn’t clear.

The facts do matter because that is what will dictate the outcome of this anger-hate-driven press-made spectacle.

People should ignore colors and focus on the facts. If you get enough information the truth might make itself clear.

Lady Justice isn’t blindfolded because it’s stylish. It’s because she’s supposed to be impartial and objective. She’s supposed to listen, contemplate and then impartially pass justice.

Of course, we know that due to politics, the press and historical precedent that this type of incident make things much more complicated to deal with. People lose the ability to be rational and level-headed; ask the 70-year-old couple driven out of their home the other day.

Thanks for (not) checking your facts (twice) Spike.

It amazes me that such a seemingly brilliant man would make such a moronic and really ill-considered mistake. Spike - you are asking for a riot. Did you want to get more people shot? Or hurt? Use your brain man.

But I digress.

If the facts create enough legal basis to make the shooter a criminal then a warrant should be issued. If not then they should make sure they’ve fully investigated every angle possible.

In my opinion, people trying to enforce the law - even the neighborhood watch - get way too much of a free pass which is why people tend to go overly bonkers in situations such as these. They should be treated equally under the law - they’re citizens as much as we are who have to obey the law.

And if you CHOOSE to be one to UPHOLD the law they should be held to a higher standard, but not necessarily higher scrutiny. The consequences should be greater (including loss of pensions - that one burns me to no end), when they’ve sworn an oath to protect and serve.

But I’m digressing again.

In this case they were not given the opportunity to protect, but they have ample opportunity to serve.

In doing so they should do everything humanly possible to obtain the objective facts. If they gather enough of them some picture of the truth should emerge. Hopefully, not everyone is a liar or lacks objectivity. But, even then it allows the ability to figure out what the facts are by comparing multiple stories and found facts (physical / scientific evidence).

Right now all that I think is happening is a press firestorm which is turning this entire debacle into a PR issue for the police which in turn takes their efforts away from what they should be; finding the truth and determining if a crime was committed and if so which one(s).

I think the press is going to make it impossible to find the truth because by the time this is over no one will remember anything except what they heard on TV the previous day. It tampers with the witnesses, tramples the crime scenes, invades the privacy of everyone, etc.

And this isn’t the first time.

You would think we would learn from our mistakes. I don’t know who’s innocent or guilty in this case, but in this country people are innocent until proven guilty.

Gathering evidence and building a case takes more time than our public outrages would like, but the fact is that it takes time.

All the press and the public pounding on this issue does nothing but slow this case-building process down, thus making everyone more pissed off and the cries of “why are they so slow?” come out.

They are slow enough to begin with, but why do we choose to make it worse? Do I think we need to make sure they’re accountable for doing their jobs? Absolutely, but I think that’s the job of the people, not the press. And the press is a deterrent not a help.

Rarely do I see the press doing real investigative journalism anymore. It is all mud digging and slinging. I believe “Yellow Journalism” was the term back in the day.

So unless you’re prepared to get of your butt and get involved, stop being an arm chair coal shoveler for the press ovens, get educated and take them out of the loop, because all they’re going to do is blow a lot of smoke around that clouds up everything.

Yesterday was another blow to my attempts to progress my career and get out of NYC. I interviewed well (at least 3 times on the phone and then with 9 different people in person on a day of round trip flying), but to no avail.

It gets very tiring to hear over and over again that - they liked me, they think I’m very intelligent, and yadda, yadda, yadda, BUT I’m not the right fit.

I can respect being not the right fit, but it is frustrating as heck. This is at least the 2nd or 3rd time this has happen recently. A couple of other times some really oddball things took place, but that’s another story for another time.

I don’t think they ever consider that with the amount of industry experience and skill that I have it might be possible for me to fill in the gaps on the job.

Whatever it is, I can’t be missing too much. Otherwise I’d never get past the phone stages. I do think in some cases the competition is more targeted for a role based upon sheer dedicated experience.

I on the other hand am a serious jack-of-all-trades and a master of several different disciplines, which makes me harder to pigeon hole.

My round peg fits in the hole (that just sounds so utterly wrong, but I digress), but it’s not a perfect fit. It’s a non-traditional art deco kind of peg that has patterns, groves, and incredible detailing like a hot rod.

But, on a good note, I did get another call for an out-of-town in person interview.

Now I just need to figure out which relative ”dies” for my soon-to-be-taken personal day. (I’ve got very little real vacation left, so I need to improvise.)

That’s all for now folks!

That’s always the conundrum. It’s not that I can’t think of topics or what to say, it’s I can’t keep up with my own brain.

I’m not sure if it’s entirely an ADHD thing or not, but I’m sure it’s a relative factor.

Women’s Rights is a big one. It’s mind boggling to me what’s happening in states like Arizona, Texas and others. The draconian nature of what’s going on is terrifying. Women are being treated like property. Worse - pregnant women are being compared to cows and pigs. (Seriously - check out this amazing pro-women retort on that and many other things - 10 Reasons The Rest Of The World Thinks The U.S. Is Nuts. The author is spot on and people need to wake up soon or the US is going to be a ghost town.

The Republican Primaries are another amazing topic. Even Mitch “I hate women” Romney” and Rick “Only use your dick to reproduce” Santorum could easily stand alone on their own as topics. Both are terrifying examples of what happens when you take the Bible way to literally and replace your heart with it. They’ve lost all focus on who is in this world. More women than men vote.

And without women neither of those jackasses would have been born.

I wonder if anyone’s researched if they were both planned children. If they were now that would be a hell of shocker. So much for their model families.

There’s more but I’ve got this place I go every day called hell (or more familiarly known as work) which will hopefully change very soon.

OK. But I have to continue working for the man for the moment. I’ll have more to say later.

Today is traditionally called “hump day”, “mid week”, and a variety of other things.

But this is my last Wednesday in the office until the week of Presidents’ Day.

All I can say is “WOW”. This is my first real vacation since 2002. 10 days of completely not giving a crap about anything except my wife and myself.

My biggest worries will be - Which buffet to hit? What to wear on my excursion? Does the dealer have a good hole card? 2 or 3 hours at the pool? Does my wife need another daiquiri? Sounds rough, right? :)

I am not taking my phone or a laptop. I will not visit the internet cafe. The only technology I’m bringing with me is my iPod, iPod charger, my digital camera, and one extra SD card for the camera.

I can’t wait to get the heck out of here!

I’ll miss my cats, but they probably get more attention when they’re boarded anyways. And they love our cats, so I’m not worried.

I do need to remember to send my sister a Facebook message with my wife’s cell phone in case there is a dire emergency. I don’t talk to my father, so the end result is non-communication by association most of the time.

My mom calls once in a while, but lately that’s been rare. My sister doesn’t call at all, just the occasional Facebook message. My mother’s behavior I can understand, but I have no idea what crawled up my sister’s ass and died.

Either way, I digress.

I’m going on vacation! WHOOOOOOOO! :)